We Acted Like Children Because We Were
When the conscience hits us with things we have done in the distant past, or not so distant past, it can be a very uncomfortable time. We become filled with feelings of remorse and wish we could take back things we said, things we did, if only it were possible. It is not of course, and we know it is not. And I hope that most of us know that the things we did when we were just children really were acts of children. We were trying to learn how to live in our family, in our schools, in our society.
Does my saying that really make some of the “things” said and done better? Not necessarily. For many of us, there are deeds done that cannot be undone by us. We will have to live with them, and that is the reality. We have to accept that fact as best we can. And another fact we are probably going to have to face is that we are most likely going to say and do some things in the future that we will have to “accept and live with.”
This is not a pessimistic or dark view of our humanity, our so called fallen nature, etc. It is a realistic view of our human nature, such as it is a part of the relativistic world we live in as the “projected ego selves” of the Soul.
We are living in this reality for various reasons, many of which are known to God and Soul, but hidden, or at least not presently known to our ego selves. And remorse is not necessarily a bad thing anyway. It certainly can lead to a desire for humility, which is a quality of Soul, not so much of ego self. So in one of those “mysterious” ways, all things can and do work together for God. That does not mean that purposely wrong activity is a path to Spirit.
But, it means that you have not done too many bad things for God to love you. All the roads, no matter how winding (and some of them are very winding) eventually turn back, from the prodigal Son direction, back to God. The love of God is too strong for a wanderer to stay out forever. There may be some gnashing of teeth as I am typing this, but it is true. There is no real separation from God. It is as real as we are, of course. (read the spiritual article "Science Finding Evidence for God")
The separation from God we feel is a feeling, and feelings are not facts. You may have heard that somewhere before. Everything that is, comes from the “God” or Brahman, the Universal Condition, before the big bang of creation. It is all one sort of substance. The appearance of differences are everywhere. The brain does a great job, right? But if you are blind, there are not so many differences you can see. But does that change things? It changes some things. But does the mother who loves you not exist for a blind person just because that person cannot see her? Likewise, sort of, God chooses not to manifest to many people. His lack of manifestation is one of His manifestations. Since God “is” the source of everything, and is manifested everywhere, it has to be His Choice.
Meditate upon the reality of God and Soul, and much less upon what you have done wrong. You have already been Forgiven by God, who is the Transcendental God, and set up the laws of karma anyway. God is not “sitting on a throne somewhere with a pad and pencil watching every move.” There seems to be some confusion about this. The Christian bible says this. “You” reap what you sow. “You” can begin to change it, through not beating yourself up, through positive affirmations, through meditation, prayer, etc. Yes, it happens by Grace. God is the Doer. But try sitting and doing nothing and see if God Helps you then. God helps those who help themselves.
Stay Out of the Bad Mental Neighborhoods!
Other scriptures of other religions say this, too. Let go of your guilt feelings. The Hindu Gita scripture says that God is not keeping a record of all the good and bad things you do. Just concentrate your attention on service to God, Soul, and helping your fellow man. Get your attention off what you have done wrong. As I have said many times, “There are some bad neighborhoods in this town. I do not need to go there. One of the worst neighborhoods is in my own mind!” So do not visit that neighborhood. You have one in your mind, too. Stay out of there! Start building a bright new neighborhood in your mind with positive affirmations. They do work. And this is another good reason to serve your fellow men, and women. It not only genuinely helps them - it also keeps you out of the bad mental neighborhoods (your little ego self) and helps you build a new unselfish you.